SIGH

And so Brendan returned, and now Leonard is here.

There always seems to be a reason for me to still be in close contact with A.

Turns out his secret is that he cried when I said not to meet anymore.

Past the point of no return on the 18 June, and on the 16 June he cried. In front of me. Because of me. And I cried as well, I can't hold it when he says he's sorry.

I really don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore.

Then on 25 June I told him I don't want to do anything anymore and he was angry for a bit. Angry? No. I don't know. Grouchy? Aggresive? I Just felt like he was cold. Somewhat.

Again, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore.

I reread our messages for June and it's awful how inconsistent I am. To the point were I'm ashamed of my words now.