Walk the fuck away?
Yeah, right.
Our friend was here from KL and so we hung out, I wanted to hang out separately but my stupid friend was like why didn't you ask A. Whatever la.
I realised that I was able to contain the drama. Cocoon myself. Protect myself. It did not touch my heart or affect my emotions. I did not feel hurt. And plus I enjoyed the company too. And thus, I continued hanging out with all of them.
Perhaps it is because I have accepted that he will never have feelings for me and that I have nothing I can expect from him anymore. He is not the man that I need but he sure is someone I would want. I guess it is better this way, else I would be regressing. Being with him would mean saying goodbye to getting married (not like I have any prospects I can seriously consider), being with him would be like regressing to my teenage years, except, I would be happy.
Perhaps it is because I have accepted that he will never have feelings for me and that I have nothing I can expect from him anymore. He is not the man that I need but he sure is someone I would want. I guess it is better this way, else I would be regressing. Being with him would mean saying goodbye to getting married (not like I have any prospects I can seriously consider), being with him would be like regressing to my teenage years, except, I would be happy.
We are really playing with fire now. And I do not hope to be burnt but it is like a moth to the flame, simply irresistible. I officially confessed to him yesterday and told him to reject me outright, not half heartedly. I wanted him to tell me that he only sees me as a friend and that he would never have feelings for me. He would never love me.
But he refused, and said he was worried that what if whatever he feel is not clear, blurry and unsure because his mind is telling him so? He got fucked recently so maybe now nothing is clear because he is subconsciously protecting himself.
Well, for me, it could be that, or not. Either way I refuse to be confused over a 0.1% chance, and so if he does not want to reject me outright I'll just assume so and just bloody move on emotionally. Other than that, we are still good friends. I don't know what about his company that is so good but I just feel like I want to be there, spending time with him.
And to think, my vague memory of first meeting with him was at Shamrock's restroom right, but I was going in and he was going out and he gave me this stare that I thought was pretty weird. So I was saying to myself, "Why'd that guy look at me, giving me that creepy look. Stay away from him." And I shrugged it off. So you know what this means? It means first impression can be horribly wrong.
But he refused, and said he was worried that what if whatever he feel is not clear, blurry and unsure because his mind is telling him so? He got fucked recently so maybe now nothing is clear because he is subconsciously protecting himself.
Well, for me, it could be that, or not. Either way I refuse to be confused over a 0.1% chance, and so if he does not want to reject me outright I'll just assume so and just bloody move on emotionally. Other than that, we are still good friends. I don't know what about his company that is so good but I just feel like I want to be there, spending time with him.
And to think, my vague memory of first meeting with him was at Shamrock's restroom right, but I was going in and he was going out and he gave me this stare that I thought was pretty weird. So I was saying to myself, "Why'd that guy look at me, giving me that creepy look. Stay away from him." And I shrugged it off. So you know what this means? It means first impression can be horribly wrong.
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