Monday, December 19, 2016

19/12/2016

My car's aircon needed fixing, and it costed RM2,332.00. FML.

It'll take me a few months to get out of reds now.

Other than that, my job's confirmed now. I quite like it.

Recently though, I feel the love for A is lesser?

Maybe because it was not reciprocated (Or rather, I don't even know whether he loves me or not), it's dwindling down.

I had a dream where he told me he loves me but I didn't know what to say to it, and if to be precise, I didn't want him to say it or feel that way. Because I can no longer say it, the thought of it makes my mouth so difficult to open. It's not that I don't love him, it's more like I'm unsure if I do anymore. I've kept it repressed for so well after all that perhaps it's working too well.

And when I couldn't, he says it's okay to keep up with the lie. Which means to say I love him back despite being hesitant, but of course he didn't really say it, It was just a dream. But it felt so odd.


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